Sometimes I get ridiculed for my dreams of owning a farm. Sometimes people don't think I can do it. Sometimes I ridicule myself for it. Sometimes even I don't think I can do it. I get discouraged because I can't go forward, can't stop treading water. Today I went and yelled at myself in the backyard because I wasn't completely normal. I actually considered letting go of my dreams, just becoming a completely normal robo-person. But then I realized I couldn't. I was too stubborn to let normalness take me over. I am also infected with Barnheart, something that one of my favorite writers, Jenna Woginrich, describes here. I am way too stubborn for my own good and quite happy about it.
So here I am, treading water, hoping that someday I'll be doing a breaststroke toward some ever-changing finish line.
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